Allah said,
﴿وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾
(And live with them honorably), by saying kind words to them, treating them kindly
and making your appearance appealing for them, as much as you can, just as you like
the same from them. Allah said in another Ayah,
﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ
بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾
(And they have rights similar over them to what is reasonable) ﴿2:228﴾. The Messenger
of Allah said,
«خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ،
وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي»
(The best among you is he who is the best with his family. Verily, I am the best
one among you with my family.) It was the practice of the Messenger of Allah to
be kind, cheerful, playful with his wives, compassionate, spending on them and laughing
with them. The Messenger used to race with `A'ishah, the Mother of the Faithful,
as a means of kindness to her. `A'ishah said, "The Messenger of Allah raced with
me and I won the race. This occurred before I gained weight, and afterwards I raced
with him again, and he won that race. He said,
«هذِهِ بِتِلْك»
(This ﴿victory ﴾ is for that ﴿victory﴾.)'' When the Prophet was at the home of one
of his wives, sometimes all of his wives would meet there and eat together, and
they would then go back to their homes. He and his wife would sleep in the same
bed, he would remove his upper garment, sleeping in only his lower garment. The
Prophet used to talk to the wife whose night it was, after praying `Isha' and before
he went to sleep. Allah said,
﴿لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِى رَسُولِ
اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ﴾
(Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow) ﴿33:21﴾. Allah
said,
﴿فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَن
تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئاً وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْراً كَثِيراً﴾
(If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through
it a great deal of good.) Allah says that your patience, which is demonstrated by
keeping wives whom you dislike, carries good rewards for you in this life and the
Hereafter. Ibn `Abbas commented on this Ayah, "That the husband may feel compassion
towards his wife and Allah gives him a child with her, and this child carries tremendous
goodness.'' An authentic Hadith states,
«لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً،
إِنْ سَخِطَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا، رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَر»
(No believing man should hate his believing wife. If he dislikes a part of her conduct,
he would surely like another.)
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